Me too

Just last week on my vacation in Greece, on a Saturday night in the midst of Athens party life I was violated by someone supposed to be a friend. A black man. A brother. I didn’t think much of it until a few days ago when it all came back and I felt so dirty, […]

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Of those days I don’t feel beautiful.

The mirror. I could blame it on the mirror. Or my hair. Perhaps blame it on my skin, the rough dry patches and the ashyness. I am pretty certain none of that has anything to do with it. There are days I don’t feel beautiful. I don’t like the woman infront of the mirror. It’s […]

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Letting go of expectations

  Fear is the biggest thief of freedom. And freedom even within oneself comes at a great cost and through a vigorously painful initiation. I have been afraid. I have been afraid of many things and I am still afraid. Previously when I was afraid, I would deliberately encourage myself to be brave. What else […]

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A woman in a man’s body.

Close friends describe me as a man in a woman’s body. They don’t treat me like one of their own because I am not. I feel that for most of my early life, I have been so much in my masculine energy because I needed it to survive. I didn’t feel like a woman at […]

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Self love and affirmation rituals as an act of care.

  I am tired. I am tired of being tired. I am tired of having to deal with the pressures of my world. I am tired of my emotions and feelings being infantilized, invalidated and dismissed. To grow up as a Kenyan child especially a girl child is to learn early that self expression is […]

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Men are not hunters.

  If I could write about how much I have heard men insisting on being hunters in this lifetime and how many times men say this without any thoughtful reflection at all and with so much conviction, I would write a very thick book.   Hunters treat prey with little regard because they are either […]

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Unlearning old ways

Unlearning old ways feels like walking on wet green grass for the first time after a long time in the wilderness. It reminds you of the softness and the chilliness of the earth beneath your bare feet. You can smell the earth and you remember the taste because once, a long long time ago, before […]

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So what if I make mistakes?

I just move through life. Just like that. It’s like I have no total control of it. I can’t even figure out my next move. I can plan and wish. I used to pray too, a long time ago and ask for a good life, like some of my friends. I wanted to be as […]

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Dealing with rejection.

  Sometimes life plays. It plays way too much. Way too much for my liking! Everytime I have been rejected, I have taken it upon myself to question myself and give hard critic. My ego has been bruised each time. And I can tell you, I have been rejected way more times than I could […]

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Individuation as a feminine act of survival and being(Part 2)

Confront the dark parts of  yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle your demons will cause your angels to sing August Wilson To begin the process of individuation, we dealt with the persona as the mask that we wear so as to get a long with the general […]

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