New phone who dis? Dealing with ghosting.






We have ghosted  and we have been ghosted. Both are two sides of the same coin just different situations.

When I ghost someone I feel justified by my actions. I feel total clarity and the need to get someone off of me. Whatever the reasons there maybe, the justification feels great. Perharps they don’t measure up to our expectations,  perharps they are straight out mean and selfish people, perharps they play too many emotional games and sometimes they just aren’t that memorable.

I have ghosted a lot of people without a second thought about how they feel. I have ghosted friends and lovers alike.  I didn’t think twice about it until I was ghosted myself. How ironical human behaviour is.

Until we can relate on a deeper level we act indifferent towards others and even abandon ourselves. I suppose the lesson to learn is to be truthful especially with yourself whatever side of ghosting you find yourself in. Sometimes an apology is necessary.  I did eventually see how cold and bad my ghosting was. But only after I was ghosted myself.  Let’s call it karma serving me my own poison.

Perharps  I would not even have seen the error of my ways without it. So yes,  every experience unto itself is a learning curve.


When we are ghosted especially by people we like we wear a totally different face.  We feel things that are unpleasant.  We become victims and totally give away our power.

Truth is whatever we feel is not the other person’s fault.  Nobody makes us feel anything unless we already are those things. They on the other hand bring them out. We can not blame others for abandoning us if each day we choose to abandon ourselves.  We can not expect others to make us feel good, wanted and loved if we can’t do it for ourselves.


The issues arising from being ghosted are feelings we still carry within. The anger, the loss, the pain and even the victimhood. Of course emotions will arise.  Old trauma and childhood abandonment issues will come to the surface. It’s ok. It’s not your fault but neither is it the other person’s fault. It’s all about us not rejecting and abandoning ourselves. It’s about finding the hidden healing that arises and how in touch with our emotions and ourselves we stay. It’s about acceptance for the self  and finding self love.

It’s also about compassion and understanding for the other. They are going through their life too. Running away or towards their truth. They deserve that understanding from you. They deserve the right to choose where they put their time. They deserve the freedom to choose what they want and who they want to share it with.

We have acted unchrist-like towards others and ourselves on many occassions.  We ought to forgive ourselves and others. We ought to move on with love and grace especially towards ourselves. Nobody owes us anything. Everything is a gift of the spirit. We are grateful for whatever gift we recieve.

There are no coincidences. The divine nature had a plan to bring us to higher consciousness,  teach us how to love without conditions.

New phone who dis? Truth, love and forgiveness.

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I am a Kenyan woman who enjoys writing and vlogging about the Kenyan feminist issues while fusing dreams into stories related to the kenyan culture.

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