There are those people, situations, triggers that expose wounds. Then there are narcissists ripping through every wound and opening them up not because they know you( some do) but because that’s what they do.
They find pleasure in otherwise useless things that normal people with empathy do not enjoy.
At the beginning they listen to what you say, look at your appearance or better still guess your wounds so that they can discredit you, demean you or even mock you. They are the queens of drama and silent treatment. Petty! Someone who enjoys belittling others is already not clever enough for any fun.
I can tell you most narcs are stupid, have a short memory, are immature and enjoy games but will accuse you of playing games. Ain’t nobody got time for that dumb ass shit!
However when someone makes you start questioning yourself, talks above you about themselves, forgets things you said over and over, requires you to doubt and then defend yourself then you know you are dealing with a psycho. A fool. Only stupid people enjoy stupid things in this vast beautiful world.
When it comes to their ability to expose wounds, deep seated wounds it’s necessary to acknowledge the wounds. You are not too obsessed with perfectionism to notice you are also limited. When you are cornered and hurt it’s human to feel the pain. Wounds aren’t to mean we are weak, we are too broken and can’t be fixed. You can heal from narcissistic abuse if you are willing to sift through the degradation, see what’s worth healing and simply dismiss whats worth laughing at. Laugh!
I was sitting back and thinking about some of the things the narcs have said about me, my body, my personality and I had to laugh out so loud. It’s hilariously stupid that you wouldn’t think a minute more about it.
Usually we all have self-work to do. We have esteem isuues, body image issues, dark childhoods and pain. If we don’t accept ourselves and begin healing we remain vulnerable to abusers. And all of us have been here before. Someone nasty and idiotic is always ready to add salt to injury. Listen, you can heal without all that drama. You can love and be loved without being made to feel shame or being tossed from the frying pan into the fire. You are strong love!
Then there are real wounds. For me, dissociating the narcs triggers from the narc is important. I can have a look at my pain and I can have pity and compassion for the narc triggering them. Again vulnerability is the ability to heal and to forgive. Not only for others but above all for self! You are the top actor in your script. You are in control of the play. The other person, the narc doesn’t really have power over you. They don’t even have power over themselves. Starve that demon! Cast it out! Throw away the keys and go have a run! Feel the trees loving on you. Feel the earth supporting you. Feel the wind reassuring you. Only real people can enjoy such small yet huge pleasures.
Love your wounds. Own them. Be with them. When wounds are exposed, discard the trigger and the narc. Ain’t nobody got time for that shit.
When you have nothing to lose, you simply have no reason to engage!
The only way to beat a narc is to own up to the fact that they are absolutely not worth a second glance, they are totally insecure, not smart enough to mind their business but above all they are soulless. They can’t feel anything.
And each time you will beat them to a pulp at their own silly game. Every time!
And you are lucky. You can express every emotion without shame, you can show compassion, you can heal, you are here to experience earth fully.
Goddamit you deserve to live a life of joy and happiness. You deserve every right to choose who comes and goes because unlike the narc you can laugh at your own jokes and face yourself. You are the bomb!