I am tired. I am tired of being tired. I am tired of having to deal with the pressures of my world. I am tired of my emotions and feelings being infantilized, invalidated and dismissed.
To grow up as a Kenyan child especially a girl child is to learn early that self expression is not allowed. Children are to be heard and not to be seen. And as a woman, there is never an opportunity to begin expressing oneself. Every form of expression in women is defined by the culture. We grow up believing our opinions don’t matter. And in deed they don’t. Assertiveness and eloquence is deemed unattractive in women.
Expression of especially pain and sorrow is narrowly defined within motherhood and marriage. Outside of that our emotions and lived experiences are made a subject of jokes and humour.
This in turn affects our ability to express ourselves, see ourselves in a positive light. Not only are our emotions under threat but also our bodies bear the burden of constant judgement, wear and abuse.
As black women and African for that matter we are invisible to everyone else but ourselves. Many of us are still afraid of openly expressing ourselves for fear of judgement.
Regaining what was stolen from us requires work. Work to the self, for the self and by self.
Rituals are solemn ceremonies that are powerful. A ritual is a sequence of activities involving gestures, words, and objects, performed in a sequestered place, and performed according to set sequence. Rituals encourages our intuition and the stolen voice to resurface again. They sharpen our insticts and spiritual essence.
Women constantly reinvent themselves to fit their cultures and most of the time this requires losing oneself completely.
To experience ritualistic practice is to recollect and reconnect to your inner self. We need to dwell in ourselves and our pain, beauty, grace, clarity instead of turning our heads away. The voices within will only get vicious and attack our consciousness and erode core beliefs. We need to steer forth our lives through the spirit realm within us. We set aside quality time to meet with ourselves, prepare, recognise and appreciate the focus into self.
Consciousness of the self is powerful. It’s a prayer unto the gods of the self. Your consciousness gets to come into touch with your inborn wisdom. Energies are given and taken. They give us opportunities to see the shifts in our lives and reclaim our powers.
Rituals help to remind ourselves we are here. We are deserving, we are feeling and we belong.
Honor the space you stand on. Honor your human struggles, honour your pain, name them, honor your beauty, honor your wishes and bring them to life.